How do I come out to my parents and friends?

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How do I come out to my parents and friends?

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How do I come out to my parents and friends?

There’s no one correct way to come out to your family and friends. You’re the expert in what feels right to you, and who it feels safest to tell.

Here are some general tips for coming out:

  • When you decide that you’re ready to come out, give yourself time to think through how you’ll do it and what you’ll say.
  • Figure out the people or person in your life that you think will be the most supportive, and come out to them first. You can often get a sense of how friendly someone is to transgender people by watching how they react when the topic comes up in conversation.
  • Do some research so that you have information about being trans, in case they have questions or don’t know all the facts.
  • Some people are more comfortable writing a letter or e-mail rather than coming out in person.  
  • After you decide who you’ll come out to, what you’ll say to them, and how you’ll say it, be prepared to wait as they digest and accept the new information. Give them the time they need to think about and try to understand what you’re going through.
  • Sometimes it takes people awhile to get comfortable with your new pronouns or name, and they may make mistakes when referring to you, even if they don’t mean to.
  • Don’t assume that everyone will react negatively. Some people may surprise you with their openness and acceptance.

The Human Rights Campaign’s Transgender Visibility Guide is a good, step-by-step resource for helping you come out as trans and also includes information to help the people in your life understand your identity.

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